Trust. It’s the foundation of all relationships. When trust is present, relationships flourish. When it’s not, relationships disintegrate. But here's the strange part. We all want to be trusted, but almost all of us struggle to trust people.
Today, we began a series on trust by looking at an undeniable truth: Often there are unexplainable gaps between what we expect people to do and what they actually do. And, although we have no choice about when “gaps” happen, we do choose how we respond when those gaps happen.
When gaps happen, we can choose to fill them with either trust or suspicion. Unfortunately, most of the time, we fill them with suspicion. As a result, relationships are eroded and we find ourselves becoming cynical. But it doesn't have to be that way. As Christ-followers, we have been called to trust.
1 Corinthians 13 contains a fantastic definition of love. In it, Paul writes, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
So, why do we find it so hard to trust? Part of the reason is our past. We've been burnt repeatedly. So we learn to hold back on trust. Another reason is our present. We're bombarded with stories of broken trust. And it makes us wonder if anyone can be trusted.
The question is, “What do we do about it?” How do we move from people who fill gaps with suspicion to being people who choose to trust? Let me share with you three positive steps you can take toward becoming a person who chooses to trust.
When there is a gap between what you expect and what you experience, fill it with trust. This one is simply an act of the will. Instead of allowing yourself to be suspicious, choose to believe that there is a good reason why this gap was created. Choose to trust.
When you observe someone filling a gap with suspicion, come to each others' defence. Rumor mills and gossip factories are sin, every time. And they won't end until we choose to refuse their product. So let's start thinking the best of each other and defending each others' character.
If what you experience begins to erode you trust, go directly to that person about it. Most of the time, gaps have perfectly good explanations. Sometimes, they don’t. We won’t know which is true until we have a conversation directly with the person involved.
Imagine how different your world will be when your default reaction is trust instead of suspicion. Imagine how different your community will be when you refuse to allow others to spread suspicious rumors. Imagine how different our relationships will be when we choose to talk with each other.
Amazing transformation can happen, if we'll choose to trust.
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