Sunday Rewind 04.27.08

Being a parent has to be the toughest job any of us will ever face. All of us want to do a great job. God wants us to do a great job, too. So He's given us a lot of great advice to help us be successful.

Probably one of the best known verses when it comes to children is Proverbs 22:6, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Let's break that down a bit.

"Train a child" includes bringing children into submission. One of the critical tasks of parenting is breaking the will of their child, teaching them to submit to authority. But in doing so, it's critical to avoid crushing their spirit. That's a tough job.

"Train a child" also includes teaching moral responsibility. Parents must instill in their children a sense of right and wrong. We must help them make good choices so that they might avoid the destructive choices that bring catastrophic consequences. That's a tough job.

But what about that "in the way he should go" part? God has instilled in each child certain abilities and personalities that parents must nurture. Our task is not to find ways to have our kids accomplish our dreams. It's not even so much to help them accomplish their dreams. Instead, we've got to identify God's fingerprint in their lives, and nurture that imprint. That's a really tough job.

But look at the benefits... "When he is old, he will not turn from it." Sounds like a great promise, doesn't it? But be careful. Proverbs aren't promises, they are probabilities. If we will train a child in the way he should go, we make it more probable that our children will come to know and love God. So how do we do that. Here are a few suggestions:

Live a life of godly character. You are the most important spiritual influence in your children's lives. Churches may be a great resource, but the responsibility to teach faith sits firmly in the lap of parents. Do you have spiritual conversations with your kids? To they see you living out faith? What is your life teaching about God and a relationship with Him?

Love your spouse. So much of a child's identity and security are tied up in Mom and Dad. When we attack each other, our children interpret that as attacking them. It's so important for our kids to see loving relationships lived out in their parent's lives. What are your kids seeing in your relationship with your spouse?

Cultivate a spirit of humility. It can be easy when things are going well to assume nothing bad will ever happen. But every child is a natural born sinner. On any given day, each of them is fully capable of making a decision that throws their life in turmoil. All of us are one phone call away from a crisis. So don't allow pride to seep in...maintain a spirit of humility.

Dare to discipline. Every child needs discipline, and that discipline needs to begin early. Somewhere around 18 months, children begin to test limits. They're learning who's in charge. It's critical for parents to let them know that parents are in charge. Otherwise, the patients start to think they run the assylum, and chaos reigns.